I wasn’t planning on posting again today, but then I heard the sad news that Louise Rennison had passed away. Her books were a hilarious and comforting fixture in my early teenage years when I had absolutely no idea what was going on or what I was doing.
Will putting toothpaste over my whole face get rid of that giant spot on my chin? Am I normal? Why can’t I pluck my eyebrows without looking like I don’t have any? I swear one of my boobs is bigger than the other…What is the most effective (and least risky) way to steal a Bacardi Breezer from my parent’s drinks cabinet? Will one Bacardi Breezer get me drunk? I wonder if I’m normal…what if no one ever wants to kiss me? What will I do if I’m never kissed?! I bet I won’t ever use Pythagoras Theorem…
Man, being a teenager was fun, wasn’t it?
I could spend all day flicking through her books, reliving how accurately she was able to explain exactly how it felt to be a teenage girl. It’s a rare talent to write with such warmth, insight and absolute bloody hilarity.
In honour of the late, great Louise Rennison, here are five of my favourite quotes from her stories:
“Oh Blimey O‘Reilly’s pantyhose…what is the point of Shakespeare? I know he is a genius and so on, but he does rave on.
What light doth through yonder window break?
It’s the bloody moon, for God’s sake, Will, get a grip!!”
– Louise Rennison, Knocked Out By My Nunga Nungas
On falling out with your friends:
“I wanted to kill her and make her eat her fringe. And her knickers.”
On kissing marathons:
“I could have quite literally snogged until the cows came home. And when they came home I would have shouted, “WHAT HAVE YOU COWS COME HOME FOR? CAN’T YOU SEE I’M SNOGGING, YOU STUPID HERBIVORES???”
– Louise Rennison, On The Bright Side I’m Now The Girlfriend Of A Sex God
On beauty disasters:
“Through my curtains I can see a big yellow moon. I’m thinking of all the people in the world who will be looking at that same moon.
I wonder how many of them haven’t got any eyebrows?”
On communicating effectively with parents:
“Dad at breakfast today being very quiet. I notice he is clean shaven. I said to him, ‘Vati, what has happened to the little beaver that used to live on the end of your chin?”
– Louise Rennison, Startled By His Furry Shorts
Thanks for helping me through my teenage years, Louise.