So tonight I was intending to post a review of Melvin Burgess’ ‘Junk’ that I’ve been working on over the weekend. But the words weren’t coming out right, so I picked up my new copy of ‘I’ll Give You The Sun’ by Jandy Nelson to have a little break and kind of didn’t put it down. Four hours later and ohmygod it’s broken my heart and glued it back together again and now I’m in the midst of a stonking great book hangover.
So that got me thinking about all of the unique problems that go hand in hand with loving books. I bring you this post in solidarity, friends. Here are five problems that all you bibliophiles will be familiar with:
When you run out of space
The bookshelves are full, the bedside table is stacked, you’ve got some older books indexed by genre and put away in easy to reach boxes (just in case of a fire, y’know?) What do you do when you’ve filled up all the space in your room? Stop buying books? I think not. I’ll just get rid of the bed, that will free up some space and I can read more because I won’t be able to sleep on the floor. Win, win situation.
When book life is better than real life
The local park does not resemble Hobbiton, your boyfriend doesn’t have the witty repartee of Jace Wayland and you certainly can’t cast a Patronus charm, visit Willy Wonka’s factory or hear your what your dog is thinking. Instead you have to work for a living, pay tax and accept that most of the men you’re going to meet in the future will wear chinos and look like extras from TOWIE. REAL LIFE IS NOT FUN.
When you have to pack for a holiday
Ah, the much anticipated summer holiday. A perfectly legit normal-person opportunity to go and choose some new books for your lovely getaway, you lucky thing. But then you realise, uh oh, there’s a weight limit because we’re not rich enough to fly with an airline that isn’t Ryanair and you haven’t paid for hold luggage BECAUSE THEY CHARGE YOU EXTRA. It’s at this point that you realise that you won’t be able to take all 12 books with you.
Picking four books is like choosing between your children (your beautiful, beautiful children). Cue at least 3 days of packing and unpacking until making a painful snap decision ten minutes before being dragged into the car.
When people actually want you to leave the house and socialise like a normal person
Sorry I’ve got to leave early because I need to let the dogs out/pick my sister up from work/get an early night/wash my hair. Actually you’re just desperate to take your make up off, put your pyjamas on, grab a cuppa and dissolve into book that you’ve been thinking about since you got to the bar. This feeling also applies to people who try to talk to you when you’ve got your nose stuck in in a book.
Not that I’ve ever felt this way, obviously…
When you’re all like ‘who needs money when there’s a new Cassandra Clare out?’
Money is fleeting, but books last forever. Until your car fails its MOT and you can only pay the mechanic in paperbacks. Not that I would ever sell my books to pay for my car; I’d have to sell an organ or walk 36 miles to work.
What are your biggest book-based probs? Let me know in the comments! 🙂